


A Stolen Life

by DaronwyK



Series: What if... HP Drabbles & Short Stories [30]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bad News, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2019-04-26 03:01:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14392869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaronwyK/pseuds/DaronwyK
Summary: How did Snape handle the news of Harry Potter's birth? Not terribly well.





	A Stolen Life

**Author's Note:**

> On-Shot could be Canon Compliant – Set August 1st, 1980.

o.o.O.o.o

 

There was a flare of green fire as the floo roared to life, bringing through Lucius Malfoy. Severus’ didn’t react at all and remained slumped on the thread-bare couch, wearing last night’s robes, and the Daily Prophet laying crumpled on the floor by his feet. The mouldering ruin of his father’s house was the fitting setting for the dark turn his thoughts had taken since seeing the innocuous notice in the Announcements section. He didn’t know why he tortured himself by checking that part of the paper. He’d known all along what it would do to him, but ever since seeing Lily in Diagon Alley all those months ago, belly gently rounded with her child, he hadn’t been able to resist.  

  
“You look like you could use a drink,” Lucius said and sat down beside him. He’d brought a bottle of his father’s best scotch and two glasses. Narcissa had brought the paper to his attention today at lunch, and he’d known that he’d find his young friend here and in this sorry state.

 

Lucius picked up the crumpled paper, eyes lingering over the small announcement under births and marriages.

 

**Lord James C. Potter and his wife Lily are pleased to announce the birth of a healthy baby boy, Harry James Potter, on July 31st. Lord and Lady Potter were unreachable for further comment, but sources close to the family report that Sirius Black has been named Godfather, and Alice Longbottom honoured with the title of Godmother.**

 

Lucius tossed the paper into the fire and looked over at Severus. The twenty year old was staring sightlessly at the floor, the expression on his face a mixture of anguish and rage. “You need to let her go,” he said quietly.

 

“She was supposed to be MINE.” Severus stood in an eruption of violent movement. “She only married him to spite me and now…” He drove his fist into the wall, not even feeling the crunch of the small bones in his hand as they shattered upon impact. He struggled against the arms that wrapped around him, bands of iron dragging him back from the wall and preventing him from doing any more harm.

 

“It’s for the best Severus, you know that,” Lucius whispered into his friend’s ear. The younger wizard’s passion for Lily Evans was without question, but unfortunately he had lost the competition for the witch’s affections. Even more unfortunately, Severus was not a man to lose gracefully. “She would never have accepted you for who you truly are, you know that.”

 

“I could have made her understand…” Severus collapsed down to his knees, bitter tears falling down from his face. She was his whole world and now she was truly gone forever. He wasn’t so great a fool as to think he had a chance to win her back now. James Potter’s victory over him was now utterly complete.

 

It should have been **_him_** standing opposite her last year, proclaiming his love for her and becoming her husband. He should have been the one Lily promised to stand beside forever. Not Potter. Not that arrogant, selfish, pompous toerag. She was supposed to have been his, just as he was hers. He loved her so much it was like a knife tearing into his heart, he always had. Lily was the one pure, good thing in his life and losing her was the greatest regret of his young life. His horrid temper and vicious tongue had lost him the only person who’d ever cared about him.

 

Potter was no fool, regardless of what else he might think about him. He’d waited for his chance and the minute Severus had stumbled, the disgusting opportunist had swept in, becoming Lily’s white knight and made her forget all about her unfortunate, awkward friend. Every single day he’d had to watch that wizard hanging off his beautiful friend had torn at his heart. Potter had stolen her from him, and it was as if he’d never existed. There was no more room in her life for him, no time to think about the boy that had spent hours telling her about the wonders of Hogwarts, who’d lain beside her under the summer sun as they dreamed about the future and all it would bring. No time for the boy she’d promised to be friends with forever. No thoughts for the boy who’d been her first kiss, when they’d been caught in Greenhouse Number four during an unexpected spring rainstorm.

 

One momentary lapse, and it had allowed Potter to take it all. Rich. Handsome. Talented Potter. A sob tore itself from his throat, even as he distantly felt Lucius gathering him into a fierce embrace. He took the offered comfort, needing it so very much. Severus knew he’d always been a horribly jealous creature, growing up with nothing had left him to envy those that took their good fortune for granted. He’d treasured every meal, every piece of second hand clothing...regardless of how hideous it had been, simply because he knew how easily he could have had absolutely nothing. But this burning, writhing, darkness in his soul was a new sensation. He wanted to destroy Potter, wipe every trace of him off the face of this earth for taking the life that should have been Severus’.

 

It should have been **_his_** son born yesterday, cradled gently in Lily’s slender arms. A child with Lily’s eyes and his hair. A baby that would embody all the good parts of them both, her kindness and his wit, her determination and his intelligence. A truly perfect child that he would have burned the whole world down to protect. One good, pure piece of him to go forward in the world. Instead it was Potter’s child that Lily had carried in her body, and now held in her loving embrace. A child that would be nothing more than an arrogant, shallow little shadow of its horrid father. Lily’s perfection wasted on James Bloody Potter’s spawn.

 

“Severus...let me heal your hand?” Lucius’s voice cut through the darkness in his mind.

 

Severus nodded and reluctantly allowed his friend to lift him up, and walk him over to the sofa. He looked down at the bloody mess that was his wand hand and sighed. Of course Lily had chosen Potter, the Golden Gryffindor from the good family, with a fortune to lavish on her. Why had he ever been stupid enough to think that she’d ever want him? The filthy, destitute, half-blood son of a drunken, abusive muggle? He watched Lucius heal the bones in his hand, and then clean the blood off his knuckles.

 

“There’s essence of dittany in the bathroom cabinet,” he said quietly, surprised at just how badly he’d mangled himself. His voice was raw from all the sobbing, screaming, and cheap whiskey he’d imbibed before Lucius’ arrival.

 

Lucius nodded and left the room, returning with the dittany and tending the deep runnels where he’d removed the flesh from his knuckles on the wall. “There...good as new,” he said, silver eyes lifting to look at Severus’ face.

 

“Nothing about me is good, Lucius,” Severus whispered.

 

“If I truly believed that, I’d hardly be here right now.” Lucius poured them both a generous drink. “While I’m sure you have a head start on me, drink. It might not make you feel better, but it will numb the pain.”

 

Severus snorted inelegantly. “The only way to numb what I feel right now would be to cut my own heart out.”

 

Lucius nodded. “I do know how it feels, and I won’t lie and tell you it gets easier. You just learn to live with it.”

 

Severus nodded. “I’m used to living with pain, what’s a little more?” He tried to summon a small smile, but the effect was more of a grimace.

 

“You’re worth ten of Potter, she was a fool to not see it,” Lucius said quietly. “You’ll find someone Severus, someone who’ll appreciate you for who you are...all that you are.”

 

“No,” Severus cut him off. “I’ll never feel for anyone else what I feel for her,” He swore. “I had one chance, more than someone like me deserves, and Potter stole it from me.” His black eyes seemed to burn as the jealous rage resurfaced. “I hate him.”

 

“I know,” Lucius just said, shuddering at the feel of magic lashing through the room.

 

Severus threw back the drink, letting it burn his throat...a small hurt to try and salve the massive one ripping him apart. He’d been burying all of his resentment, self-loathing, and anger for year only to have that bloody announcement tear his walls down and lay his wounds bare. A baby changed everything. There had always been a small hope that one day Lily would come to her senses and see the truth of what Potter was, that perhaps he could win her back, but not now. The birth of her child, this ‘Harry’, had destroyed that small hope as he’d come into the world. It made him hate the boy, almost as violently as he hated the child’s father.

 

Sainted James Potter, who could never do any wrong, at least not in the eyes of the Headmaster, or anyone that mattered. Potter, who had stolen his spells and turned them against him, who had been handed everything he’d ever wanted on a golden platter. The child would be just like him, spoilt, arrogant, and entitled. His eyes fixed on a spot on the wall as the whole horrifying sight played out in his mind. A miniature James Potter, Lording it over a new generation, unleashing torture and torment on the less fortunate. He shuddered in disgust, drawn out of his dark imaginings by his friend’s insistent voice.

 

“Narcissa wants you to come and stay with us for a while. She doesn’t want you to be alone,” Lucius said, watching the thoughts spin over his face.

 

“I won’t be very good company, I wouldn’t want to inflict myself on her,” Severus said sadly. “No, you should go home to your family, Lucius,” he insisted quietly, pouring himself some more scotch. He rarely touched the stuff, it reminding him too much of his own father. Though, he highly doubted that Tobias Snape had ever tasted anything this expensive in his short, miserable life.

 

“My wife would castrate me if I left you in this state, she’s strangely fond of you.” He chuckled.

 

“Only because I brewed her anti-nausea potions during her pregnancy, and that I did to keep her from killing you.” Severus shook his head, trying to let his friend drag him up out of the darkness in his thoughts, but it felt like a lie. What right did he have to smile and laugh when everything he’d ever wanted was gone? No. Not gone...taken. Stolen.

 

“Severus, stop.” Lucius said sharply. “It’s done, don’t give the bastard the satisfaction of torturing you forever. You have to let it go, or it will eat you up inside.”

 

“Maybe that’s what I deserve.” Severus said, and then suddenly found himself reeling backwards as Lucius struck him. He tasted blood from a split lip. “Merlin’s balls Lucius!”

 

“Enough. You’re the youngest Potions Master in nearly three centuries, favoured of the Dark Lord himself, and you’re my bloody friend! James Potter isn’t worth the dirt on your shoes and I won’t sit here and listen to you say otherwise. He took your witch, that’s true, so make him regret it. Make **_her_** regret it, Severus. Live your life, and don’t look back. Jealousy never solved anything, so let it go.” Lucius gripped his friend’s face in his hands. “Please Severus, just let Lily go.”

 

Severus closed his eyes and leaned forward, forehead touching Lucius’. Everything was blurred by alcohol and pain, but he clung to the one person that was still here for him. “I don’t know how,” he whispered quietly, as tears slipped down his cheeks.

 

“I’ll help you, I promise,” Lucius swore. He’d been protecting Severus since he’d met him as a skinny, half-starved first year and he’d be damned if he let James Potter destroy what was left of him. 

 

~Fin~


End file.
